Distracted and Behind Schedule

I spoke too soon about being able to use my new laptop for music. Apparently, my OS is notoriously elitist and won't recognize older programs, like, say, Finale 2006. Someone told me to just install a different operating system, but I can't do that. This laptop was purchased with a lot of VERY expensive software already installed on it, which would be lost if I did that. And, as a used laptop, I can't return it. I've already had it for over a month anyway.

So, I need to upgrade Finale. How do I upgrade it if I can't even install it? I don't know. But the laptop also doesn't have Logic 9. I am not sure I even see the point of trying to install the Logic 7 that I have on the other laptop. For one thing, I doubt it will even install, since the computer won't take Finale from that same time period. For another thing, the last I looked, Logic 9 is only $200 and doesn't even require that USB key to use it. That frees up another USB port, which makes a world of difference when you want to plug other external devices into the computer while you're working on music.

Anyway, I am demoralized, and I am procrastinating again. I can't find the initiative to even try to figure out what to do about Finale and Logic. I don't have the money for either right now, anyway.

This past week provided a welcome distraction from all that, in the form of gaming. Refreshingly, I got to play in two RPG groups. A couple of my newly-minted brothers-in-law and a friend of theirs invited me to join their Shadowrun campaign. I had never heard of Shadowrun before, so it took a lot of explaining on their part. It was definitely an educational experience.

This Wednesday, after many failed attempts, I finally got a couple of friends together to play Star Wars Roleplaying Game: Saga Edition. Years ago, the Captain and the Amazing Brando and I went so far as to generate characters to play a campaign, but that was the end of it. I was overwhelmed with rules to learn before I could be the GM, and shortly after that I moved to Texas, which killed any chance of playing. But I had collected most of the books, maps, and lots of miniatures from the sort-of-corresponding Star Wars Miniatures war game, so I was intent on getting a campaign together someday. Ah, that illustrious, illusory "someday."

Well, someday finally happened. It only happened because one of the guys acted as "rules consultant" so I could handle the GM-ing without getting too bogged down. My knowledge of the Miniatures game helped as immensely as my knowledge in the lore. It went really well. We are definitely in it, now. I've got a game together. For the first time ever. How pathetic is that? How many times did I change addresses, lugging around those damned boxes of game-related stuff, only to have them be little more than coffee table books?

Wednesday evening was spent gaming, and now I am scrambling to get other things done before next week. Juliet and I rented a cabin at Bastrop State Park, where we had the wedding. We had our eyes on this cabin at the time, but it was rented out. Since there's such a waiting list, we decided back then to just reserve it for the first week of June, not actually knowing where we would be on our to-do lists by now.

I really want to get my new laptop situation figured out, so that I may begin making music that I can actually sell. I have all the ideas; I just need the time to do it. But until I can use the thousands of dollars worth of equipment I have, my laptop is just an expensive jukebox.

Today, I have work to do. I have a lot of organizing to do around the house, but I have far more mental organizing to do. I feel so far behind, and my mind is unshakably foggy. It's like solutions are on the tip of my brain, but I just can't concentrate long enough to pluck them out of the air. 

Today, I am looking to Kansas City for inspiration. I am going to try to go to the gym and pretend that I'm in KC again. Oss.

Maybe if I listen to enough epic trailer music today, I can kick some serious ass.

Maybe it will clear the fog from my mind. I feel distracted, but I can channel those thoughts into motivation. I want to turn that distraction into something that works for me, not against me.

Yes. Yes, it is a trailer music kind of day. One man's intellectual trash is another man's spiritual treasure.