Manifest Mittens

A potentially genius thought struck me a while back, and I've been considering it ever since.

My girlfriend complained that my SoundCloud account automatically cycles through the tracks I've posted, including a jarringly dissonant and chaotic avant-garde piece titled Puzzle Box: a commentary on academic ideology. She would prefer it if I took the piece down, a request which I find delightful and hilarious. I've never actually said what the commentary is; I'm more interested in what you think I'm saying. No matter what you think I'm saying, you're probably wrong and right at once. Sounds like a meta-enigma, doesn't it? I'm interested in your interpretation of the piece, but I digress.

I still haven't removed it from my SoundCloud account, but I will eventually. Eventually, I will need that space for more music; the piece is fifteen minutes long, and I think I'm only allotted two hours of music before I have to upgrade my account. SoundCloud is meant to be sort of an appetizer plate for my YouTube account, which I haven't actually used yet.

But it got me thinking.

And that's a dangerous thing.

I was thinking that she's right: it doesn't flow well at all and I should take it down for her comfort, but also for the sake of continuity. Even on YouTube, I'm hesitant to post it. The hateful comments would be interesting (part of the experiment of the piece, actually), but I'd have to keep it separate from other projects I'd post by having it in its own playlist.

You see, it's part of a sub-genre of my music that's very different from the stuff I really want people to hear. Puzzle Box is one of many, many pieces of experimentalism, avant-garde, "satire music," and/or self-therapy, music that was solely written to "exorcise the demons" left by my sour experiences with the culture of the BGSU music department. For example, I have a piece very similar to Puzzle Box called Nothing To Say, only it's about eleven or twelve minutes longer. I have several hours' worth of such music, not necessarily intended to be heard by anyone. I want to reiterate the and/or of that list, because there is some overlapping of those descriptive terms, depending on the piece. But not every experimental piece was done satirically, just as not every composition for the sake of private venting had an experiment behind it.

And most importantly, imitation is not necessarily the sincerest form of flattery. Sometimes you do it to be a dick. For example, I have one piece that's a spoof of the music from a truly fuck-awful independent ("backyard") film that shall remain nameless for the purpose of this post (though I've blogged about it before). The music was an exercise in improvisation and imitation, and the result got a well-earned chuckle from the good Captain when he listened to it. The music, including my deliberate clipping of the amplitude, was imitation of the most unflattering sort: mocking and resentful of how awful that movie and its music was. And that's just one example.

One might say, "Now, Tim, for someone who hates BGSU so much, you've certainly devoted an awful lot of time and percentage of your portfolio to it." One might say that, yes. But that would be the last thing one ever said to anyone ever again. The irony is not lost on me, but I choose how and when I deal with those demons. They don't set my schedule; this is more of a hobby or game that I get off of the shelf once in a while, dust off, and play. Similar to the horror film score spoof I mentioned, it can be very healing to crank out a piece of ugly music with a padded running time. Just looking at the number in your iTunes playlist is cathartic. In other words, fuck off.

And now, on to the idea I'm toying with.

Rather than complicate things by having an overly eclectic online music stream, why not take the division of playlists one step further and just create an entire alter ego? Some of you may recall the commenter called "a guy in a chicken suit." Well, take that thought to its logical conclusion.

Mittens.

A while back, a couple of friends of mine ran a webcomic called Evil Arts and Crafts, basing the characters off of people they know. Mittens was the character based (loosely, I hope) on me. I believe the name "Mittens" was a play on the backwards spelling of "Tim," but that's just a guess. Sadly, the webcomic was discontinued some time ago, and you can't even look up the old strips, as far as I know. Eventually, I'm sure they'll put out a "complete collection," but for now, the only Mittens material I have are the few images I cropped from the comics when they were originally published.

From what I recall, Mittens was a potty-mouthed, classically-trained composer who spent one particularly soul-sucking year studying in London, which crushed his spirits and he came out of it with a nihilistic, irreverent nonchalance about him. He "now" works at Jack-In-The-Box and spends his free time drinking perpetually and assisting the other characters with myriad creative endeavors that arise. As with many of Mittens' appearances throughout the comic, his debut was taken directly from real life: the first impression I made on the guy who would eventually create Mittens was at a dinner/gaming party at my brother's house. I was offered something to eat, and I declined, deadpan, "I don't believe in food. I'm drinking myself to death." And I maintained eye contact until it started to become awkward for him, and then I took a swig of beer. Just like in the comic.

It was an honor to be parodied online.

Now, consider Poe's Law: without a blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of extremism or fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing.

I'm thinking Mittens needs to become manifest.

I've been seriously tempted lately to split my online persona in two, devoting a "Mittens" account to saying all the acerbic things I wish I could say but for fear of offending. I could get Mittens his own accounts on Facebook, Twitter, SoundCloud, YouTube, and Blogger. I could use the Mittens persona to post all that music I'd be otherwise self-conscious about. It could be awesome.

Keeping the two separate could prove impossible. Eventually, people would figure out that we're the same person, which could lead to problems, depending on what I do with the Mittens persona. But the real drawback (what, accountability for my words? pshaw!) is that constantly logging out just to log back in as Mittens on every single site would be exponentially more time-consuming than trying to resuscitate this blog, which has already proved to be an uphill battle.

The thing is, the webcomic creators did that themselves--created an online persona with their respective comic avatars--but eventually both abandoned their alter egos. So the question is... did they quit because they discontinued the comic? Or did they quit because it became too much of a hassle? Is it worth the trouble? Or should I just keep all activity under one name?

It might still be better to just upload everything with distinct categories, but SoundCloud only allows two hours of music and YouTube only allows videos no longer than ten minutes each.

It's a tough call, but I'm seriously considering it. I could even follow him on Twitter.