Holy Crap
I hope you're sitting down.
The Captain is always privy to all the fanciest toys, and he showed me one place in particular to find some high-caliber sound fonts. (Check out some of these packages, particularly SD2, Voices of Passion, and Symphonic Choirs. You can download demo tracks onto iTunes.)
I am no stranger to professional-grade software. I knew many things like this exist. But still. The potential here is astonishing.
If you have the hardware to support it, and if you have hundreds (or thousands) of dollars, you don’t have to be a composer. The untrained can fudge their way with incredible quality. How do you compete with that? The SD2 tracks make Mantra look like general MIDI. Here I am, trying to do the best with what I have, and you have demo tracks by software companies and commercial/trailer music composer coalitions that blow me out of the water. Countless ones at that.
I’m completely demoralized. This is the part where my armies turn around and go home. Oh, the futility. The inferiority. The humility. What’s the point of composing anymore? If I had several thousand dollars to blow on a new desktop and all these beautiful sounds… I might be able to make something of my worthless little life.
posted by the warrior bard at 11:54 PM
26 Comments:
and here's where I say, "you don't need fancy software toys to make something of your life." Hundreds of composers succeeded by just writing like mad and giving everyone important copies of their scores. They networked with everyone they met and hung out in place where someone might notice them someday. They did it all without 2 grand worth of sound sampling software.
Sunday, January 20, 2008 7:48:00 AM
Indeed. I guess what I should have said was that, these days, the people who get noticed are noticed for their resources such as finely-polished mixing with state-of-the-art samples.
That choral kit would be amazing. You type in the words and it simulates extraordinarily well. That certainly still requires craft to make it sound good.
What bothers me (which I'm sure at least three people will elaborate on) is that formal compositional training is largely about learning how to write idiomatically for every single instrument and voice. If you take away the humanity, then yes, any Joe can "do it," because then it's about the notes and nothing else. You don't have the opportunity to ask questions that only a composer can handle:
How can I make this sound harder than it really is, thereby making the performer look amazing with relatively little difficulty on their part?
What about the fingering in this clarinet cadenza? Is there a problem you don’t foresee when you only consider the notes?
What about the stamina of the euphonium player? Are they going to more easily frack the note if I leave the line as is? Should I make a smoother buildup to that high note?
Will these parts have inherent intonation difficulties with the key I used? Will the brass be more prone to clash slightly with the woodwinds this way?
You don’t have to consider the physics of the instrument or the individuality of the performer when you’re dealing with digital music. Yeah, it’s nice, but composers are expected to identify and deal with such problems. Any composer who gets these sounds will be better off, yes, but think of the vast sea of mediocrity or amateurism that is facilitated by the wonderful world of high technology.
This is hardly a new problem.
And, ultimately, the answer remains the same: Good music speaks for itself. With all the toys in the world, you can only dress up unskilled writing so much. People love that commercial sound, but they can also recognize substance for what it is. That’s why Jerry Goldsmith will always be “more musical” than a coalition of composers who have appropriately named themselves Media Ventures.
Sunday, January 20, 2008 12:17:00 PM
Maybe I’m also a little discouraged because the several CDs worth of vurra niiiice Giga Fonts I got from Noah Taylor simply will not work on my computer.
It’s not an excuse. It’s a reason.
For my part, I’m doing what I can with what I have where I am.
But I can’t help but feel like I’m not making the most of my tools (be it hardware, software, or my own education). I also feel that I’ve barely even justified the student loan debt I have. What am I doing? Ideally, I should be making commissions that will eventually pay for the stuff I’ve already bought. When I do get that elementary band commission from Sarah, I’ll at least be able to say, “There, that paid off my keyboard and my speakers.”
It’s all too easy for non-musicians to forget that composing is a business. If I got a new desktop with all those nice sounds, would I even get enough projects to pay them off? It’s like opening a seafood restaurant in the middle of the desert. In a valley away from the main roads. With nuclear mutants picking off travelers.
Sunday, January 20, 2008 12:27:00 PM
Well, shit.
There went my over labored comment. You've covered just about everything I was going to say.
Ah, hell, for my own edification:
Having access to samples like this does not make you composer. Just sound like one, right out of the box. Yeah! For about a minute… and only as long as your definition of composer centers on Zimmeresque as the Alpha and Omega of score.
This reminds me of the desktop publishing "revolution" of the 90s. Software companies put professional grade tools within the reach of anyone with a few hundred bucks. Soon companies dismissed the hiring of designers... they could do it themselves. The problem was, none of them had hired secretaries that just happened to be frustrated designers and willing to churn out thousand-dollar designer for minimum wage. So, they ended up with professional grade crap. It took awhile, but about half of those who ran towards the DIY light, have run back to dedicated designers.
Revolutions are always great when spurred on by "power to the people". It thins the professional herd and brings out hidden talent in the "common man". Sure, a few businesses still produce hideous designs, and a few design companies produce hideous design and get paid. Oh god, ten years of that hell… but, at the end of a dark age of design, we've been reaping the benefits. Better tools in the easy reach of designers.
Remember, those samples online are about the best those sounds are going to sound “naked”. And they are going to sound that way every time they’re played. That’s what’s great about them. No variety in performance (never and off-day, or a happy accident). No instrumentalist talent required. Sure, out of the box they’re cool. And then you can employ awesome taiko drum that sounds just like everyone else’s taiko drum.
It ain’t the size of your taiko drum…
Go ahead and listen to four cues, four random cues from four composers on that site. How do they sound? Pretty decent, eh? Almost film/television quality. Almost real?
Almost identical.
Go ahead and pull up four random cues from four random film/television composers in iTunes. How do they sound? They sound… different, don’t they. In both style and flavor.
With samples you’ve got to work hard to force an instrument to do something, anything else, that what it was sampled and programmed to do. Creating your signature string sound would be hell with a computer. It would be a damn sight easier. Samples take effort, just a different effort than working with live performers.
They are meant to mock up. In some cases they suffice, but not without a lot of your own ingenuity to make them sound unique. Your signature style.
Software and tools cast aside for a moment. I could buy all of that, over extend my credit, buy every sample package I wanted, and a kick ass MacPro to run it. Ultimate music composition machine, right?
Nope. Jackass hobbyist with massive credit card debt. And a kickass taiko drum.
All a composer needs is paper and writing utensil of his choice, and anyone can hear his work. Remember, you’re just five quality minutes in a concert hall away from your piece sounding better than any samples ever created.
Sunday, January 20, 2008 1:27:00 PM
Yeah, when everybody has the same toys, it ironically cheapens the value of the whole thing. I’ve noticed that while working on Mantra. I thought,
You know, these patches are awfully easy to get ahold of… they’re almost ubiquitous, really. So who’s going to be at all impressed at what I do with this score when I post the whole thing online to attract commissioners? They’re going to think, “This sounds just like every other asshole who has that World Music package. I can get someone to do it for a lot cheaper than THIS guy.”
It’s an interesting paradox. One that illuminates the harsh realization that I have perhaps lost a little faith in my own ability to create. I’ve often said that my last job has made me “dumber”… perhaps I’m right?
Screw it, I’m going to compose today. I have to.
Sunday, January 20, 2008 2:35:00 PM
Here’s a dilemma for you…
For example, one thing that has stymied my progress is that I’m not satisfied with the patches I’m using in this one cue. It’s basically a fifty-second title theme, as if written for the opening of a TV series. It’s the main theme of Mantra, so I’m doing it before I move on to other tracks (besides the one I already did before that). Should I just lower my standards (to that of reality) with some of the sounds I’m using? I don’t want another Kings of Lusturia, in which I do “the best I can with what limited tools I have”… because it ends up sounding like shit anyway, no matter what I actually write for it. (Gawd, Kings of Lusturia is painful. It actually defies the Geneva Conventions.) But I’m basically expecting too much from the digital instruments I have to work with at the moment.
For example, reeds are only good when they’re real.
This is essentially what bugs me most: will it be “worth” anyone’s attention if it still sounds a little cheap? I expect Mantra will be at least as good as the sounds used in the original Halo, and still a far cry better than Red Faction.
More and more I’m realizing that my final product won’t be up to my expectations. (Oooh, big surprise, I know. Shut up.)
Should I just suck it up and churn out what I can? Well, I don’t want to say “churn out,” but you know what I mean.
Anybody? Herr? Captain? Pikey? …Marx?
Big, scary, space monster? Hello?
Sunday, January 20, 2008 2:47:00 PM
Bear with me here. I've been mulling this post over since this morning.
For starters. What equipment do I have?
I have a Mac G3 that's 10 years old.
I have Sibelius 3.
I have a Yamaha digital piano whose midi inputs aren't being used right now. I enter all of my scores into Sibelius with my mouse and my computer keyboard.
I have a four-year-old version of SoundStudio.
I have an antique minidisk recorder.
In the nearly four years since my retirement from Academia I've done what?
Composed scores for 2 short films; One synthesized, and one for a small, 5-piece ensemble.
Composed a feature film score and recorded it with a 65-piece orchestra.
those are the extent of my paying gigs
Composed a score for an evening-length theatre production.
Composed (and had performed) a work for violin.
Had a couple performances of works composed before academic retirement.
And I'm currently neck-deep in my concerto for bass trombone and chamber orchestra.
I'm not tooting my own horn or, worse yet, busting your balls, because that's not the point.
Much of my post-academic output would've all been much more difficult without the help of the Pikey. He's got oodles of toys that he's let me use time and again; and for that he's one of the most generous people I know.
The fact of the matter is that part of that business outside of creating is cultivating relationships, networking, whatever you want to call it. It might be more important than the actual act of creating.
I've been in contact with people who I know want to work with me so that when the time comes we can. Some of those relationships go back ten to fifteen years.
I've sought out projects that give me a chance to cultivate new relationships and flex my compositional muscle simultaneously; usually at no cost to the other party and much to me in time, effort, lost sleep, etc., just to "prove" my quality; all this in the hopes that, if it’s positive, we can work together again, perhaps with money involved (my score for Stalk was basically an audition).
Most important of all, as far as networking, I've managed to slyly insert myself into the musical community to the extent that I know how from Day 1. I went to work for an evil bitch who owns a landmark print music shop. When I'd had enough of that, thanks to a little help from Michael Harris, I was able to move on to the KCS which has put me into contact with an interesting bunch of people both in and out of the organization.
I know you're going to say you know all this already. That's understandable. I wouldn't expect any less. But when someone (like me) tries (and I have tried) to throw you a bone and say, “Hey, I know so-and-so would be willing to play something of yours”, you throw it back. You complain about your lack of resources and yet they are all around you.
I’m sure this has been neither meaningful nor helpful but those are my thoughts. I’m not trying to condescend but rather say, “There’s hope; you just have to know where to look for it and be willing to ask for help”.
"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed; the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force."
Sunday, January 20, 2008 5:23:00 PM
You complain about your lack of resources and yet they are all around you.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
I know my resources. I use my resources. At the moment, I am not working on a violin concerto so I haven't been pushing it on a local violinist.
The whole point of grad school (in fact, the only redeeming value) is networking.
The resources I'm "complaining" about are my shortcomings. Things I can fix, in time. I'm not complaining so much as I am confessing.
Yeah, I should be more tech savvy than I am, and I am working on it (present tense, not future).
Yeah, I should be able to round up some local performers, and I am working on it (present tense, not future).
Yeah, I fix or replace the hardware that hasn't worked out for me since I bought it, and I will work on it (requires money, ergo future tense).
While you've been trying to shake my shoulders saying, "Pull yourself together, man! Just do it already!" I've been working. I composed another track today since my last comment.
I'm a man of action. Yes, I sometimes get caught up in the existentialism of it all (thanks, Bowling Green, you bitch), but I am not crippled by it. I am addicted to progress. I really am. I'm a workaholic. And I'm outlining 2008 in its entirety, planning what to do and how to possibly do it, because I'm sick of the way my post-Master's life has been thus far.
I am going to proceed with this massive project, and if parts of it sound cheap and synthy, fine. It's a video game demo score. If you don't like it, you don't have to listen to it and you don't have to hire me to write for your film or game. You can get one of those SD2 guys to do it.
Excuse me, I have another piece to compose before bedtime.
Sunday, January 20, 2008 7:23:00 PM
I knew that would be your reaction.
Sunday, January 20, 2008 10:33:00 PM
I suppose my previous comment was supposed to be an elaboration upon what jak said earlier about networking and getting your stuff out there, using my own experience as a point of orientation.
Sunday, January 20, 2008 11:19:00 PM
Oh, and as far as "pushing" anything on anyone, all my compositions of the last three years have been requests or collaborations.
Sunday, January 20, 2008 11:27:00 PM
"Pushing" it is not quite what I meant. What I meant was that I have several pieces at the top of my priority list which do not require I use my local resources.
Sunday, January 20, 2008 11:35:00 PM
I knew that would be your reaction.
I sincerely doubt that. You knew I'd get offended that you (once again) played the I'm-a-resourceful-mother-fucker card, granted, but you had no idea what kind of things I've actually been doing with my time, and you seemed to have my attitude all wrong. And it saddens me greatly to discover that my proactive approach has gone unnoticed.
I don't know how else to say it, or how many times, or how many different ways, but... I'm still getting shit done. I am being productive. I'm just discouraged about this project, but I'm plowing through. Because I can't stop. I guess it doesn't matter whether I get recognition for being productive, because the shit gets done whether I get a pat on the back or not. Forunately, I don't compose so people will say, "Hey, nice work ethic."
Sunday, January 20, 2008 11:36:00 PM
...all my compositions of the last three years have been requests or collaborations.
That's the way it ought to be. That's how you know you're not wasting your time.
Sunday, January 20, 2008 11:41:00 PM
I understand that you are continually composing, but I have to doubt when you say, "I guess it doesn't matter whether I get recognition for being productive, because the shit gets done whether I get a pat on the back or not."
If this really didn't matter to you, would you be so upset about your apparently stagnant composition career? I sometimes read here in your blog about how your job-that-pays-the-bills sucks, and all you want to do is compose. But you also say that you compose all the time. Ergo, I think the recognition part of composition is more important than perhaps you thought.
To be successful requires that other people see how great your work is. You could have stacks of pristine scores piled in your apartment, but you won't be "successful" until other people hear the music and "pat you on the back."
Don't underrate the part of the gig where people applaud.
Monday, January 21, 2008 9:35:00 AM
That's not a pat on the back. I meant that I don't blog about every little thing I do simply to prove that I'm doing something. Although sometimes it seems that way... like I constantly owe someone an explanation or something. That ain't right.
Monday, January 21, 2008 11:21:00 AM
Obviously the recognition component is very important. Nobody composes in a vacuum. At least they shouldn't. And now we're getting deeper into music philosophy, of which I've had more than a lifetime's worth of debate.
Monday, January 21, 2008 11:35:00 AM
I love how the tongue-in-cheek of this post was completely lost on the readers. I guess it's my fault, the writer. Or maybe it's the Captain's fault for not backing me up on it, since I was on the phone with him, listening to the samples, fashioning the post.
Yeah. It's all the Captain's fault.
Monday, January 21, 2008 7:24:00 PM
Oooohhh it was supposed to be funny!!!
Well in that case I suppose the only thing left for you to do is go off to Juilliard and complete your training in the Dark Side of the Force.
Monday, January 21, 2008 7:56:00 PM
No one at The New Yorker has an anus.
Monday, January 21, 2008 9:18:00 PM
manhá manhá
Monday, January 21, 2008 10:23:00 PM
I think we're done here.
Monday, January 21, 2008 10:42:00 PM
God, I hope so.
I wonder if you posted about, oh say... celebrity fashion... if the post comments would resolve to this.
Just pondering.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008 10:42:00 AM
It doesn't matter what I post anymore. Even as the blog author and administrator, I only have about 20% control over the blog.
Yep, there's only one thing left to do: delete this entire post.
I say we nuke the place from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008 3:29:00 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008 4:34:00 PM
I say we drink the wine, eat the dogs, and use the paper for musket wadding.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008 4:36:00 PM
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