All Along the Watchtower

Alex moved in, but we’re still short one person. Also, he’s going to be gone on vacation until Thursday, which kind of delays the convenience. He’s already far more social than the two guys who just left. We also very zealously organized the common area in the basement, rearranging furniture in an effort to actually use it for a change. We’re a couple of optimizing beeotches. Not only did we make room for an impending flatscreen TV and a Bowflex machine, we also dug up the poker table. In addition to the newly cleared-off desk and my dining room table, it’s amazingly lounge-like down there now.

The job search still sucks. I’m investigating a couple of possible hookups from someone. Everything hinges on my next job. Obviously.

I met with Herr Vogler (he bought me a calzone at Classic Cup Café, though I told him I was a cheap date) and discussed his idea for a local ensemble, utilizing our old college performer connections in the KC area. Kind of like the New Music Ensemble in BG, only it won’t completely suck.

Sensei Banks sent out an email to the group yesterday, announcing that instead of a Christmas party this year, the karate club would meet at a restaurant after training. As I stated before, I was unable to go to training (the whole month), but I headed out there. I knew it was either Applebee’s or Highway 54 Diner or whatever it’s called, both at Truman Corners in Grandview. Sensei had his phone off, which screwed me over. That’s kind of a running theme here, isn’t it? So anyway, I get to Applebee’s, convinced I’m early. I stopped by Dunn Bros on the way over so I could hop on the internet café and make sure it wasn’t canceled, just to be safe. So then I thought just to be extra safe, I’d go to 54th Diner and see if they were there. My car got stuck just by sitting in a parking space. So by the time I got to 54 (I’m just going to change its name with every mention), I walked in just as they all were walking out. We just stared at each other. Once again, I had been left out. And what a terrible effort it was just to get there.

Instead of hanging out, eating, and having fun, I just managed to talk for a few minutes with Sensei about his ideas for revamping training, starting January 3. He also talked about short- and long-term goals from an administrative perspective, including expanding our membership and community outreach.

So it seems that every single facet is up in the air. The theme seems to be that everyone is “revamping,” which is most welcome, considering the overall crappiness of everything lately. Everyone seems to have their own ideas for improvement, and I have several of my own.

The drive home was even more perilous and desolate. I thought about my predicament for the day, and realized that this shit never stops. And I am always, ultimately, inevitably only on the fringe of everything.

Everyone seems to be contributing to positive change, or at least they are trying to. Meanwhile, I’m phasing out old assets and introducing new ones. As I said, I have ideas of my own, tackling the chaos by myself.

After all that stream-of-consciousness, I still feel like I haven’t properly conveyed my spirit. How’s this: I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore. Either be a badass with me, or stay the fuck out of my way. I mean business. Life isn’t supposed to feel this futile. So how about it? Want to be badasses?

There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke. But you and I, we’ve been through that, and this is not our fate. So let us not talk falsely now; the hour is getting late...