An Understanding

A LifeGroup is a small group of people who meet regularly together. These groups have a variety of personalities, gifts and expressions but have common values such as Worship, Friendship, Evangelism and Disciplineship.

That is taken from the Metro Christian Fellowship website. My Life Group meets Sunday at 7:00 PM and consists mostly of people in their twenties. Basically, we meet at someone’s house and do prayer and discussion, but for the past few months or so, the focus has been on community and knowing each other’s life stories. Last night was my turn to tell the story of my journey.

How do you convey your entire persona in two hours? You do what you can, starting by describing your roots and ending with your current revelations, trying to hit the major points along the way, but it’s hard. Inevitably, something is misrepresented or even omitted entirely. Kind of like posting on the blog… hm. But I think I managed to adequately describe my nature, values, virtues, wisdom, experiences, life lessons, and even proclivities.

Naturally, it was impossible to describe the extraordinarily complicated trials of the Ohio life… much of which I didn’t even discuss on the blog. The funny thing is, I told people that if they really wanted to know the story a little better, they could dig up the archives on the blog (with the caveat that they would have to sift through endless heaps of stupid, juvenile, self-referential material). Even so, much of the trials and revelations were not blogged about, so a complete understanding is still elusive.

Several of the people from Life Group are on Facebook, so they already have access to the blog via the link on my profile (same goes for MySpace). However, there just may be a whole new generation of readers to alienate!

Lately, a lot of people in unrelated contexts have been posing the question of what I “want.” That is a very precarious word, one with a broad range of connotations and inherent dangers. I tend to recoil from the word, thinking it is in my best interest to not become to attached to “want,” instead “letting go” of selfish desires, even when they are not to be abhorred, opting for simplicity and sacrifice. I am tempted to go into the philosophical paradox of want, but that’s a whole separate topic, and Aaron Marx might be the only one interested in it anyway. This is totally a Panera conversation.

Seriously, though, it’s good to feel like an understanding is finally being reached. It seems like it usually takes a year to achieve any real sense of camaraderie with any group of people. Since I am staying in Kansas City after all, I look forward to building on the assets I have already established here.

Life doesn’t stop and wait for you, either. While I’m going to be busy settling into a new routine in Overland Park, everyone else is racing along at top speed. Cultivating one relationship comes at the expense of another. Balancing time among priorities and responsibilities is as problematic as ever. As the season changes from summer to autumn, it also changes from one of recovery to one of building new foundations. That’s about as clear as mud, because I still don’t have a solid grasp on a career plan. Meanwhile, I am going to be an uncle, I am drastically revamping my meager existence, and my coffee cup is empty. So if you’ll excuse me… I must get a refill.