The Screaming Clock

Not a lot has changed since my last post, except that there are fewer days remaining in the year. I'm still sharing a car, still searching for solutions.

It's not a good idea to be too articulate about job-related thoughts online, but I will say that I am looking for ways to move onward and upward. The job search is just as bleak and pointless as ever before. Even if I did find a first-shift job, it would be for the same pay or less, and it would most certainly be another dead end. For years, I've racked my brain over how to find joy in a career, while still being involved in music, especially composition. It occurred to me that there really is only one "path" for me to take at this point...

I should become a full-time piano teacher, starting my own studio.

I already have a few students, and a decent collection of materials. It can be hard work, but it's more rewarding than any other job I've had. I'd have to continue the business model of driving to other people's houses, but they appreciate the convenience and I don't have a space fro a piano in order for them to come to me, so transit cuts into my profits as well as my schedule. Of course, being self-employed takes a lot of initiative, cunning, discipline, perseverance, and resourcefulness. And I'm nowhere near ready to join MTNA, nor do I even have the capital (or the car) to quit my night job just yet. And then I have to shop for healthcare, and there's no PTO for vacation; any time off comes at a heavy price, but most students take a week off for Christmas anyway. Then again, you can't get too comfortable with your schedule because a student will suddenly quit, and you have to replace them as quickly as you can. It's a much more tumultuous lifestyle than just punching in for eight hours and letting time take care of itself. Pros and cons, everywhere I turn.

And I can produce concept albums on the side, and produce and distribute them myself online--no need for mass-producing CDs in the digital age. I have a stack of books on the subject that are still waiting to be studied intently. Eventually, I'll have a website and a new computer, but there's no deadline on creativity. The clock is screaming, but not about composing music. It's about everything else.

The real question is, how much money can I actually make in a week driving across town teaching lessons? How many students can I fit into a day? Enough to support a family? That's the real question, isn't it?

There are a few organizations that find students for you, and they send you all around town teaching. It's a good part-time supplement to the students you can recruit on your own, but how does all that realistically stack up to my 40-hour-a-week job-job? Also, there's the possibility of Skype. If I had an iPad, for example, and a studio space, and wifi, I could teach piano lessons all over the globe. In theory, and I'm going way out on a limb here, I could get back into studying Japanese like I've always been meaning to do, and if I had students in Japan, it would mean that choosing to study that language when I was an undergraduate would have served a purpose.

If this is what I have to do, so be it. But I'm not ready to make the transition yet. I have some serious studying to do. And I still need a reliable car, for a change. And I haven't even practiced the piano myself in so long that it's frightening.

But really, it's been almost seven years since I finished grad school, and what have I come up with? A series of entry-level, soul-sucking dead ends? No, I am a musician, not some mindless desk jockey. I have a Master's Degree, not a GED.

Teaching piano seems to be the only answer. But will that be enough? Can I do it?