Too Young

I’m not sure how to go about this.

A high school student was killed in a car accident yesterday. Her name was Shanna. Her friend, Haley, is currently listed in “serious condition.” I only mention their names because it’s officially public knowledge now. I guess they were all the way on the other side of the state for a college visit day.

I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if it’s appropriate at this point to write flowery words. The truth is, I didn’t know her that well, so I don’t feel like I should be allowed to write a eulogy on my blog.

She was a good kid, a real sweetheart. I’ve been a substitute teacher there since February, so I can at least say that I knew her a little. She was the kind of student who made people want to be teachers in the first place. She was a Senior and she worked at Wal-Mart. You might have even seen her. Shanna and Haley were inseparable.

For me, it certainly evokes memories of the loss of a high school buddy of mine who died nine years ago November, also in a car accident, also during his Senior year. I received word via two-sentence email during my Sophomore year at Truman, surrounded by a busy, crowded world who had never known the guy. Talk about feeling alone.

I guess now I’ll be consoling a lot of people over the course of the next few months. I’d better suck it up. It comes with the job. The school will never be the same.

I’m sad, of course, but more a mix of shock and sympathy. And there’s a hint of anger that someone so bright, so young, could be taken so easily, abruptly, and arbitrarily. I’m sad and shocked, but I don’t feel I’ve earned the right to be in mourning, not like everyone else. I’ll be going to the funeral to pay my respects, but I wish I’d gotten to know her better. If it’s possible for a long-term substitute teacher to have “favorites,” then she was definitely one of mine. And I don’t even play favorites.

Seventeen is just too young.