Ghost Ninja Demon Fairy Truck Driver
Because really, it's the only explanation for his powers.
"I can see you..."
posted by the warrior bard at 10:23 PM
Sunday, April 19, 2009
"I can see you..."
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- Name: the warrior bard
- Location: If there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from.
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9 Comments:
Porky Pig being raped by Elmer Fudd.
word verification: savator
Funny, that's my Autobot name.
Monday, April 20, 2009 10:57:00 AM
That... probably needs some explanation. A little context. A wrapper, if you will:
Joy Ride 2... the fabric of time & space... rent asunder like the town bicycle on prom night.
I see you... 'cause apparently I'm a fucking bat or something... but I still see you......
Great house, David.
Monday, April 20, 2009 11:51:00 AM
Word verification: hesizzil
That's what she said.
Monday, April 20, 2009 3:40:00 PM
Improbable omniscience is one thing, but this horror villain defies the laws of film editing!!
That's when this was coined. The whole movie, we were frustrated by how there's no WAY he could "see you" all the time, no WAY he could know everything they did (especially indoors).
Towards the end of the movie, one of the kids hijacked the villain's truck or something, and there was an exterior shot that showed the entire truck with no way for the truck driver to be anywhere in sight, and in the very next shot, they pulled a Gotcha and had the truck driver on the roof, attacking the kid.
At that wtf moment, we finally determined that the only way for this truck driver to be at all grounded in realism is, ironically, for him to have the most unrealistic combination of sources for his abilities.
Ghost Ninja, so he could appear out of the thin air of his own ass. Demon Fairy, because he obviously made a pact with someone, and to be this thoroughly empowered, he'd have to have played both sides of good and evil in order to have all this pixie dust bullshit going on.
Don't bother trying to be clever and revising the name, because it's already been coined. The joke is in the bank. It's written history now. Ghost Ninja Demon Fairy Truck Driver.
Monday, April 20, 2009 3:48:00 PM
Basically, "Ghost Ninja Demon Fairy Truck Driver" is the nemesis of the Captain and the Amazing Brando. He's the embodiment of every irritatingly flawed B movie that the Captain and the Amazing Brando watch. Because they have to sit around and figure out how the flaws might possibly work. They have to.
Your brain says, "LET'S FIGURE IT OUT!!!"
Monday, April 20, 2009 3:52:00 PM
So was he a Ninja who was given magical Fairy properties, defected to the Demon side, then died, came back as a Ghost, then got a job as a Truck Driver?
Or was he a Truck Driver all along, who then became a Fairy Ninja who died in battle against Demon Ninja, then absorbed the properties of his enemies when he came back as a Ghost?
Monday, April 20, 2009 3:55:00 PM
Or maybe the Ghost Ninja Demon Fairy Truck Drive spent a summer at Camp Hiawatha, where Friday the 13th and Groundhog Day collide!
Sadly, as many of you know, I'm not making this up.
Monday, April 20, 2009 4:52:00 PM
You know, I was watching Chuck the other night and I thought of you. No, wait. I was taking a dump. Yeah, that's what I was doing.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009 1:23:00 PM
"I saw you... takin' that dump..."
Wednesday, April 22, 2009 6:05:00 PM
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