Final Battle

It all comes down to this. Tomorrow I give my Threnody presentation at 10:00, then my thesis defense at 12:30 (yes, it was moved yet again). So today I make my final preparations. After all that, I have a few sightsingers to grade, and a few other, small things to do. But tomorrow is the big deal.

Every time I've been screwed over, every time my time table has been delayed, every time I've sacrificed an opportunity for a good time, every time I've been misled, cheated, and condescended to--all of it gives me the focus to endure today. Tomorrow is the culmination of past obsessions, ones that have resulted only in disappointment. I have nothing left to gain. At this point, I just want out.

I deserve my degree already, but there's no guarantee of emancipation--therein lies the danger. If the faculty still aren't convinced I'm "scholarly" enough, or if they think I maybe don't fully understand just one word that I use, or if they're simply in a bad mood, I could "fail" one or both of my presentations. I am ready. Deserving. Competant.

Should I be denied again, the psychological repercussions will be severe. You'll just have to push your imagination. This needs to be done. Grad school wasn't supposed to be a fight. It was supposed to be a learning environment.

No matter what happens tomorrow... the dean will hear of this saga.

Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war!