Maelstrom, Part II: Reckoning

I wrote my appeal letter, and turned in the materials to the committee. They met this morning, after which I sequestered Dr. Lillios. She told me the solution they came up with.

The new plan is that I will give my presentation again. Instead of starting over with another piece, however, I will keep with Threnody. I will have to do a complete overhaul, of course. I will also have to present during finals week, rather than over the summer. Call it a Pyrrhic victory? Wait, no, it’s still a travesty.

According to Dr. Lillios, the core of the problem is that Dr. Shrude is not convinced that I did not plagiarize. There have been many theoretical analyses on Threnody, and she thinks my words were not my own. But they were. She has given someone else trouble for that recently. She can’t consider the possibility that anyone can speak intelligently? Apparently my professional voice in incongruous with my conversational voice. No shit. Meanwhile, Dr. Lillios says my presentation had “too much meat.”

What all that means is that I did too good of a job, and nobody expected it. I’m a better writer than the faculty, and it cost me. I realize that now. That’s not arrogance talking. Yesterday I was shown some of the faculty’s writing. It’s true.

I did the analysis myself. If that is in question, then the problem is far deeper than I thought. See, I’m a simple, humble man. I have little pride, and I am unpretentious. All I really want is harmony. But don’t you ever challenge my integrity. That’s when I turn violent.

The whole point of this presentation is that each of the students does the analysis entirely on their own. It’s not my fault I did it so well they think I stole something.

Dr. Lillios was quick to point the finger at me for waiting too long to choose a piece to analyze. As I recall, I decided on Harmonielehre about two months prior to the presentations. She shot that down. Then, I finally decided on The Infernal Machine. That didn’t work, either. Threnody was my third attempt. I did not just sit on my hands all that time.

The other problem is that Dr. Lillios could not defend me well enough because even she couldn’t follow my presentation; my scope was not “narrow” enough. This is exactly the problem all of the grad students are having, and have been having all year: the faculty never communicate effectively. Never. They never really give us parameters on anything, proceed to assure us “it will be fine,” then fault us for not doing it right. It’s happened to everyone else I’ve talked to. Everyone. About everything.

The faculty believe themselves infallible. They have become all but ineffective in their role in society. This maelstrom has awakened the student body. While everything I’ve talked about is strikingly similar to other students’ grievances, my story is the highly-concentrated epitome. Something is happening… the rift between the faculty and the grad students has been ripped wide open. My experience has galvanized the others into a sort of mental insurrection. Thus, I have become a martyr. Faith in the establishment is toppling over like a drunken game of Jenga.

Grad school is 100% bullshit (from concentrate).

My fate is sealed: both my thesis defense and my analysis presentation will be during finals week. How fitting. The end comes not with a whimper, but with a bang. I have been cheated out of my entire semester. From here on out, I will not veil my contempt.

I have made my judgement, alongside many of my comrades: Bowling Green State University is beyond salvation.