Just Keep Swimming

I’m not going to wait for inspiration, or even for motivation. No rhyme, no reason. I’m just going to blog today. I have to get back into blogging regularly, or I’m going to lose my readership entirely.

So what’s been goin’ on…

I have almost no furniture, but I do like having my own place. It’s a diamond in the rough, and somebody needs to shoot their damn dog because it won’t shut up all hours of the afternoon while I’m trying to sleep for my night-shift job. I like the relative peace and quiet of having my own place. I have missed the freedom of independence, the luxury of being able to leave the toilet seat up, etc.

That last part was a joke. In all honesty, I’ve been conditioned now. I leave the toilet seat and lid down at all times. It’s just an automatic reaction now.

Now that the dust is finally beginning to settle, hopefully very soon I will have enough stability to actually stop, smell the roses, and start seriously planning for the future, and not just for immediate survival. I can start planning beyond just how to make it another week in this cruel world. I’m pushing thirty, after all. It’s time to plan for the long-term. This job is decent, but it’s no final destination. I’m an idealist—the kind of guy who needs to derive meaning from what he does, or he’s just not going to be satisfied in life.

I haven’t moved my keyboard and music stand yet. The keyboard is still boxed up in the garage at the house, but maybe I can find time after my piano lesson tomorrow evening to swing by and pick it up. I have been itching to compose like you wouldn’t believe, and productivity would feel very refreshing…

Oh yes. Video games. It’s so nice to be able to play video games again. A great way to wind down before bed is to play a level of LEGO Indiana Jones on PS2. Oh, and since I’m not living with either Baha’is or alcoholics (seriously, there has to be a middle ground in there somewhere!!!), I can be comfortable having a nightcap if I feel so inclined. I bought a bottle of Jim Beam, which I haven’t had in probably a year… but I haven’t opened it yet.

A couple friends from Columbia will be visiting in February, so that’s remarkably good. It will be a good time. I think I’ll save the bourbon for that.

Sometime this spring I need to visit Missouri. I neeeeeed to. For so many reasons. My girlfriend has barely even met anyone else important to my life, and that needs to be remedied for lots of reasons. Again, the idealistic streak comes out (see previous post).

I have to go to work in a couple hours. Thursday is my Monday. I’m not looking forward to it, but I’m not not looking forward to it. Mostly, it just feels backwards to start my day with a few hours of free time, because in the back of my mind there’s that nagging sensation of “Don’t lose track of time! You have to keep glancing at the clock, so you have time to get changed and go to work! And don’t forget to pack your lunch!”

For example, right now, I’m at Starbuck’s, about to wrap it up and head over to Barnes & Noble to see if they have Book 2 of the trilogy I’m reading. But I keep compulsively glancing at the clock.

So at work tonight, I think I’ll sneak in a few emails. I haven’t written good, solid, big emails in a while. Facebook is not doing it for me anymore. It’s great for keeping tabs on people to a point, but it is NOT correspondence.

Speaking of Facebook… just as I’m about to post this, I get a notification on Facebook that my friends aren’t coming to visit in February after all. Well, that figures. Guess there's no reason to save the bourbon anymore, huh?

So in summary, I’m trying to keep my chin up. It seems I’ve been conditioned by years of duress, dejection, and disappointment. Even a brief trip to Missouri would go a long way in repairing the damage.

Albums of the Week:
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (Alexandre Desplat)
K-19: The Widowmaker (Klaus Badelt)
Lost: Season 6 (Michael Giacchino)
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (Cliff Eidelman)
Avatar (James Horner)