Time Capsule

Over Christmas, I had occasion to rummage around my old desk and closet at my parents' house, where I unearthed a few lost gems from my days at Truman State University.

I found the VHS recording of my senior recital in October 2003, as well as the tape of all my tests in Conducting, fall 2001.

I just watched the Conducting tape, mostly in fast-forward to spare myself at least some of the pain. Wow, I was so young... so skinny... and with such a thick head of hair. And I remember how naive I was back then. Naive, and yet with a splash of cynicism and anarchy to temper my starry-eyed optimism. I chuckled at how the tape starts with me sporting my Fight Club shirt. How appropriate for being filmed conforming to a professor's ideal.

Next up is a handful of microcassette tapes. You probably don't even remember microcassettes. But I do. These tapes have been missing for so long that I thought they were lost forever. A few years ago I had found the recorder and a few blank tapes, and I thought that was it. But then, buried in a closet in Missouri, were the lost, legendary accounts. Some of the tapes are just mundane tech tutorials and interviews with a couple of composer classmates of mine, but the treasure...

Three tapes. Two labeled, simply, "Sat 9-14-02" and another labeled "Sun 11-10-02." The year before that, a friend of mine and I were really big into the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Several sequences of the film are presented as flashbacks, using the conceit of Johnny Depp trying to make sense of audio recordings from the drug-induced night before, which he can't remember. (He had taped a recorder to his chest and recorded everything he encountered).

And so, under the influence of my good friend Jim Beam, my wingmen and I began our escapades, walking across Kirksville to a party, a microcassette recorder on my chest.

I am eager to listen to these tapes, but hesitant. They have become legend, and after I listen to them, there will be no more to rediscover. To experience again for the first time. But here I am, as I type this, with an unopened bottle of Jim Beam purchased precisely for this occasion.

I wish I had done more things like this. I wish I had recorded more, be it video or only audio.

Last, but hopefully not least, is the video of my senior recital. I will need something a lot stronger than bourbon for that one... but they don't sell morphine in bottles.

What a time capsule I have brought back with me from the holidays! College doesn't seem like it was that long ago, but I guess it was. Hard to believe.

All right, I'm pouring a glass. This one's for you.