Convalescence

This weekend has given me a lot to think about. And it definitely needs to happen more often. And so it shall.

I don’t know how to blog anymore. I’ll just type stuff.


A Brutal Mind

There’s something empowering about getting away from it all, on your own terms, blasting Casino Royale and The Bourne Supremacy in your car while dressed like a hitman. It was cathartic, considering the guarded, defensively hostile mindset I was in. I won't analyze it too much, but I was on a mission.

I trained at the new dojo, had a hardcore refresher course in some newer concepts that we began around the time I left, a year and a half ago. It was great to be back, if only for a day. And the new dojo is sweet. No more begging for table scraps from the rec center, using the dance studio. An actual dojo. Sensei’s dream realized. The younger students tested after class, and we all went out to a Chinese restaurant. More on the martial aspect later.

Despite my clouded state of mind while blogging at the moment, I have crystal clear focus on some other, very important things…


Rest and Recreation

Dean and Brad and I had a great time at a bar. The Sam Adams was overpriced, but whatever. It’s great to be out for a change, especially with people who let me be myself. Doesn’t sound like much to ask, does it?

Also, Dean and his wife took me to an Italian buffet, followed by Avatar. Good food, good movie. I kind of hope the 3D thing doesn’t catch on. It’s not exactly what you’d call a perfected technology. But I love James Horner’s score.

We played Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Incredible gameplay, excellent multiplayer features, and shocking story for the campaign mode. Awesome. Hans Zimmer did a good job with it, too.


Lay Down Your Burdens

I went to Metro Christian Fellowship, my old church. Then I met my guitarist friend for coffee and conversation at Scooter’s on Antioch and College Blvd. He had some things to say that made me think hard ever since.

But the old Life Group, as it turns out, was disbanded months ago. I didn’t even know that. It should be sad news, and it kind of is, but it means I wasn’t “missing out” after all. It means that the fellowship was broken, so it couldn’t evolve without me. I’m not such a castaway after all: I’m just a rogue. And in a weird way, it’s extraordinarily liberating to find this out. Were I to move back to KC, I have less going for me, but for some inexplicable reason I see that as a good thing. A great asset is lost forever, but I feel pretty good about it. I don’t understand why.


A Few Loose Ends

I don’t know how to blog anymore. I said that already. My mind is foggy from all the things I have to think about now. I would inject a lot of insight on these episodes if I could, but there’s too much to think about and I don’t have all day. Sorry for the sub-par blog post.

I’ll come back to Kansas City as soon as I can, and as often.

But I’m not finished yet. I’ve left Dean’s place, but I have this afternoon to wrap up a few things by myself before leaving town… a few more key locations revisited, a few more episodes to add to the stack of things already overwhelming my too introspective mind…