Insecticide, Part I: Another Bug Hunt

Not everything is bigger in Texas. The mosquitoes are tiny. Obnoxious, ubiquitous, and nigh impossible to detect before they get you. It seems like mosquitoes are bigger the farther north you go, but I could be mistaken. All I know is that smaller mosquitoes itch just as much as the bigger ones but are harder to stop.

They’re everywhere, too. There is a very elaborate old birdbath in the backyard (at least I think it’s a birdbath), uniquely designed to look more like something from Moria than a birdbath as you know it. Apparently the mosquitoes nest there, not to mention a nearby creek. When we had our workspace set up in an extra bedroom at this house, the mosquitoes infiltrated the windows there and harassed us to no end.

Mosquitoes. Tiny, obnoxious, and relentless.

That was how it started.

We’ve since moved out of that room, and the mosquitoes had to adjust their objectives.

And then I discovered that, indeed, the rest of the bugs do seem to be bigger in Texas…

Next came the bees. I had heard tales of bee activity springing up back home in Missouri, and wondered if the bugs were coordinating their actions—perhaps the early stages of some grand plan to take over, or perhaps they are testing our habits, patterns, and weaknesses. The reports from my friends in Missouri involved decidedly hostile activity. Here, though, it seemed that the bees were harmlessly reconnoitering the facilities we humans have constructed as well as our own activities. They were always watching. Watching, waiting… but waiting for what?

Once I started to realize a disturbing trend around here, I began to take note of other instances that would otherwise be dismissed and forgotten. Moths. What were they up to? Always fluttering around our clothes and pantries… but why?

And roaches. Not cockroaches, mind you… something bigger. More mobile. Something truly formidable. The bugs were appearing more and more, and it seemed that they were finally introducing the big guns. These roaches were some form of Texas tree roach or something, many times the size of a cockroach but in far fewer numbers. And they could fly.

That got my attention. A giant roach that can fly short distances. And they have infiltrated the house. We let our guard down, and now numerous species of bugs were disrupting our human sanctuary of the indoors, their motives unknown.

I have also had many encounters with bees, wasps, and some form of hybrid of the two. Yes, that’s right, a hybrid, a bug the likes of which we’ve never seen before. It would seem that the bugs are engineering new races, grooming themselves for some specific, sinister purpose.

There has been an alarming increase in bug activity, simultaneous instances of numerous different species. It didn’t happen all at once, but in a systematic fashion that suggests they have been organizing this for a long time. The bugs strategically escalated their presences, gradually introducing increasingly large and specialized species until finally we sat up and took notice—I hope not too late.

Gentlemen, I’m talking about a potentially serious threat here. We need to know exactly what we are dealing with.

I’m organizing a mission to that end. Search-and-destroy? It’s a bit premature to go that far just yet. Let’s see what they can do. First, I must take stock of every type, every breed, and catalog each individual threat as well as their apparent role in the overall Bug hierarchy. We need to know if there is a caste system that dictates their actions in combat. We need to know their order of operations. We need to know what we can expect if things turn truly hostile…

We need to know what we’re up against.

”Is this going to be a stand-up fight, sir, or another bug hunt?”

I will report back with my findings. That is all for now.