Seasons Ahead

2016 is flying by. As are most of my unfulfilled intentions (resolutions is too misleadingly strong a word).

I have been busy lately, nearly to the point of being off the grid, so to speak. I started seizing a couple hours here and there, usually late at night after Liam was finally put down (we've been having serious problems getting him to bed before midnight, but we seem to have finally gotten over that phase with a new pseudo-routine). I realized that the only way for me to work on this project was to sacrifice sleep and free time.

Because of that, after a few weeks, I burned out. Actually, I burned out when I realized that I was unlikely to meet my self-imposed deadline. You see, this is a Halloween-related project, but that's all I will say, because if I tell you all about it, what's the point? No, this time I want to have it all said and done before I even announce what it is. The point was to surprise a few interested people with it anyway, so blogging about it would be self-defeating.

It's mostly an arrangement project anyway. A massive, ambitious project that I am only about halfway done with, and there's little time left. Here we are, it's already mid-September. Every year, about this time, I realize I wish I could do this project that I've long wanted to do, and every year, it's always way too late to start in order to finish in time, for how large an undertaking it is. I'm talking big enough that I might have to make some hard choices to trim it down to one CD's worth of music.

So, once again, I am too late. And if I finish in November or December, then anyone interested would wait ten months to listen to it, so I might as well put it on the backburner and do something more immediately compelling, right?

But at least this year I got serious about it. What the project actually is, doesn't matter. The point is that I have been productive--the problem is that only the final product counts. Maybe I'll just do it in January and post it on YouTube out of season, and let it be a sleeper hit. Yeah, a sleeper hit... among three people.

Well, I really wanted to dominate this Halloween season. Piecemeal throughout the year, I've been planning a huge party at my house. Collecting decorations, planning where everything goes. Yard games in the daylight, then bonfire and dancing at night. Looking at creative confections on Pinterest. You know, party planning.

Alas, the house is not ready for hosting. We had many setbacks in home repair, and there's no way it's going to happen this year. But 2017 is going to be epic.

As for everything else, business is too slow. Unusually slow, based on previous years' analysis. It's looking like this Halloween is going to be a lot less active for me. Less festive, I mean. And I've already failed both of my big ideas: the album and the bonfire party.

And then there's November. My brother might visit the days leading up to Thanksgiving, then visit his wife's brother for the actual holiday. That would be cool. Plenty to do with that.

Christmas is around the corner, you know. I should probably start thinking about that. Not in an annoying, consumerist way--I'm not going to hum a carol while patrolling the aisles at Hobby Lobby--but in a responsible way. Budgeting shopping and the annual Missouri road trip, yes, but also considering a list of things I want to do for myself, much like October. I don't have a list of December goals, though. Something to think about. Soon.

Really, what December comes down to for me is the sobering "last call" for unfulfilled 2016 goals. What is going to end up being the thing I most regret not getting around to?

I just felt like I needed a blog post for my mind's timeline. I would have posted more often, but I was preoccupied with my mad rush to prepare for Halloween on two fronts, both of which proved too ambitious in the end. Next year, however, I will become a legend.

Now, I need to forgive myself for this missed deadline. And redirect my focus to a smaller, more attainable goal. But right now I don't know what that will be.